Puppet Head

A total of 91 persons in wheelchairs were arrested in front of the White House. It was later determined that they were war veterans. Apparently, the President had them arrested as part of the effort to disarm America. In the President’s own words, “War veterans are a threat to this country. They are often the ones who own guns, and none of them are young enough to join my Youth Brigade.” Meanwhile, a supersonic fighter jet buzzed Ground Zero while the President watched via private satellite TV. The President, jumping up and down with glee, noted that he was simply reliving old memories. The fighter jet circled the Statue of Liberty for a half hour, trying to shoot the torch from Liberty’s hand. Unfortunately, the pilot, a native Afghan whom the President had brought over from Afghanistan just for this event, was not used to flying American jets. He was noted as having suggested to the President that there are others from his homeland who are very familiar with all manner of American aircraft, though he declined to say exactly who. The President later used Air Force One to scare those working near the World Trade Center site by flying very close to buildings. When questioned about it, the President became furious, stating that this was only a “trial run,” though he declined to disclose further details.